Wake up each morning, have to check my feed
Online 10 minutes and I’m up to speed;
Across all media I conduct a sweep
Did the world come to an end while I was asleep?
I’m living my life in this digital age
I’ve almost forgotten how to turn a page.
I don’t even make or take calls any more
I just tap on a screen – geez, I’ve become a bore!
What on earth do I think I’m going to miss?
Even check my phone while I’m taking a p***.
It’s with me right now as I examine this thought
Was it a mobile phone or a sentence I bought?
Why do I fret when I leave it behind?
It’s absolute nonsense, am I out of my mind?
What’s at the root of this ridiculous obsession?
Why is my mobile an important possession?
I’m telling you this, for nothing, my friends
It’s right here and now that this obsession ends.
I won’t be a slave to a hand-held computer
I’m taking control of my days and my future.
No more checking my Facebook or tweeting on Twitter
I’m walking away from their bloody transmitter.
I’m checking out, I’m going offline
I’m unplugging myself and I’m gonna be fine.
It’s time I departed and left the herd
Although, fundamentally, I’ll still be a nerd.
It’s time for a simpler, more tranquil existence
Where technology’s kept at a more appropriate distance.
I’m writing this knowing I’ll be misunderstood
For writing this now, when each day is so good.
But tomorrow will be better, of that I am certain
“Cos all that technology will have gone for a burton*
*Gone for a Burton is an old English saying that my dear old Pop used frequently to describe the departure of something or someone
Dateline: Melbourne, Sunday January 17, 2016