Testing Wars (Episode IV): The Software Tester with an Identity Crisis

So long, fair world, it is time for me to sail off into the sunset, taking with me my orthogonal array gun and retire to that beautiful corner of the Universe where old Software Testers go to die – GitHub Major… It is a sad day for me, as I have finally accepted the brutality of software development in the 21st century – there is no place for a relic such as I – the much maligned Software Tester. For several years now I have been fighting a rearguard action while under constant attack from Agilist Propaganda. And so I have decided to cut and run, while I’m still at the top of my game. I don’t want to end up like some 70’s pop idol working for peanuts in some third-rate government agency backwater, regression testing a 40-year old payroll system cobbled together using fragments of COBOL-74.

But you still have so much to offer, I hear you say….

But what shall I do and where will I be respected for my skills (and ISTQB qualifications) that I have so diligently acquired throughout my professional career? Maybe there is some far flung planet in a galaxy far, far away that still needs a bug magnet. Maybe I can join the Dojo Alliance and spend my days recording defect triage videos that will appear as a backdrop to some 22nd century Reality TV show? Maybe I’ll download the entire EuroSTAR back catalog and sun myself on a beach near the Sea of Tranquility?

Yesterday I was a Software Tester and the force was with me. Today I am too sad to face reality. Maybe next week I’ll seek inspiration from the Life of Brian and pursue a long held ambition and search for the Holy Grail of software development: the on-time, on-budget, bug-free software delivery project. A search that I fear will end like some Quentin Tarantino movie – in a pool of blood.

Dateline: Tuesday November 22, 2016

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6 thoughts on “Testing Wars (Episode IV): The Software Tester with an Identity Crisis

  1. i’m a chinese tester engineer,and i have been as tester engineer for eight years, testers have changed much this years. and now we also hear many discussion about the value of testers.we must find the value of our own,otherwise our job will in risk. i thougnt we are responsible for the quality of our production,but now, the trend is the develops are responsible for there coding,we testers should help them to test.we taech them the idea of testing.so in the future,no more tester will be needed. so we are finding our new value.

    • Hi Jared, I really appreciate your concerns; however, the truth is, that I wrote this post as a parody/spoof, loosely based upon a concept I have been developing regarding the current online discussions around the role of Testers (especially in the Agile space).
      I am now in the middle of a draft follow up response entitled β€œThe Software Tester Strikes Back”, that is loosely based around the Jedi response to the Empire.
      I am truly appreciative of your offer and if I can get into Melbourne next Wednesday evening, it would be great to share a beer or three 🍻🍻🍻
      Thanks for your continued interest in my Blog, I’m aware that I owe you a couple of follow up artefacts based upon my assertions around metrics etc. but the fact is tracking them down amongst the plethora of stuff I’ve stashed over the years I’m struggling to find what You asked for.
      Cheers
      Colin

    • Hi Dirk, I really appreciate your concerns and caring; however, the truth is that I wrote this as a parody/spoof based upon a concept I have been developing regarding the current online discussions around the role of Testers (especially in the Agile space).
      I am now in the middle of a draft follow up post, entitled “The Software Tester Strikes Back”, that is loosely based around the Jedi response to the Empire.
      I am truly appreciative of your offer and when I am next in Germany (which is somewhere I love visiting) it would be great to share a beer or two 🍻🍻🍻

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